Christmas Season 2017 . . .

What will I remember? The snow and cold and beautiful Christmas-card like wonderland outside our windows.

Yes, but most of all I will remember Pam.

Words are hard to come by today, even for me as a writer, so I just wrote down my thoughts:


Christmas Eve and onward . . .

So this is what it’s like to lose one’s best friend. It sucks!

A few short nights ago we talked for hours. Maybe she knew it might be the last time. I wish I’d known.

She’s not gone yet, but the fact that I can’t call and talk to her, hear her laugh and listen to her sage advice, like in the past, hurts. Sometimes unbearably. That I hide.

Day by day she’s fading. She is well aware of it, but still is trying hard to make memories for us who will be left behind. I find it hard to leave her bedside these days. She’s much braver than I am.

Time flies, even when one wants it to stand still. Every day family and friends pray and visit hoping for a miracle. She has remained strong way too long and the disease is now taking over.

Once again she has helped us who will be left behind. I’m at the point now that wishing she would hold on longer makes me feel guilty.

But still I do.


January 2, 2018 . . .

This is the day she chose to leave us.

She knew we’d grieve no matter when it happened, but hoped she had paved the way to make our transition easier.

That will be her lasting legacy…


Rest in peace dear Pam, until we meet again.