I have had a very hard time this last week reconciling the verdict in the Ghomeshi trial. For days I could not even watch the news. On Facebook I hid every picture and reference – even those about the huge out-pouring of support for the victims.
Though I felt the same way I could not face the issue.
Today while reviewing my second book before it goes to layout I came across something I wrote and decided to share it…
January 11, 2013
The more I wrote, the more I found myself drawn back to the man I now recognized as my abuser. What is wrong with me?
ONE LAST TIME
I love him still. Don’t I?
There, I have said it.
Written it with my own hand.
Thought it out loud.
Or is it a remnant of my programming?
And don’t forget my sick mind.
All these complex feelings,
Buried for so very long.
Resurfacing when I am most vulnerable.
Shamed, not jealous should I be.
Normalcy beckons from afar,
But I still need closure.
I need to talk with him one last time.
Face-to-face, before it is too l a t e. ☞